AGE APPROPRIATE

This one sometimes bothers me. What, exactly, is age-appropriate? After all, 40, 50, 60 are not what they used to be. People look, feel and seem younger than their counter-parts of the 50’s and 60’s. You have only to look at photographs from family albums and compare the images to those of your own to see the differences.

That being said, you are still the age that you are. You have acquired, I hope, a certain amount of wisdom along with experience, and that should be reflected in your appearance.

Once we’ve reached a certain age, we pretty much know the difference between what we like and what actually looks good on us. We know what clothes suit our body type, what gets highlighted, what gets camouflaged. But so many of us get stuck at the age-appropriate thing. Cosmetic surgery, Botox and fillers can disguise what we already know. And that’s fine. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, or with wanting to change a feature that has been bothering you since you were a teenager, maybe change a feature that could use some tweaking: a receding chin, for example, or a nose that is quite beaked and hooked. Why not? It’s not like you’re trying to convince yourself and the world that you are really only 25 years old when you are actually 47. You just want to look like your best self.

And that’s the part I’m addressing here.

You may be one of the fortunate ones who have had cosmetic surgery to look decades younger than you actually are. Maybe you work out – with or without a trainer – and your body is toned and fit to near perfection.

You are still the age that you are.

Your wardrobe should reflect a level of sophistication that only someone who is over 40 can exude, a level that a 20-something can buy, certainly, but not in a million years can she carry it off. I’m reminded of the extremely glamorous gowns on the girls who appear on “The Bachelor”.

As soon as they open their mouths, it’s game over. The giggles, the squeaky little girl voices, all belie the sexy and sophisticated looks. The utter lack of experience, and therefore, foresight. The self-consciousness, the parodies of sexiness…

Like Charlie the Tuna, you cannot buy class. Neither can you buy sophistication or sexiness.

And, no matter how toned your body may be, if the face is looking every inch its age, it does not work. I don’t care if you are a tiny little size, toned beyond all human belief – if you are over 60, and you are wearing a baby-doll top, it’s ridiculous.

Even if you have had the cosmetic surgery, the face or eye lift, do you really want to convey the image of a girl to the world at large? Why would you want to do that? What sort of impression does that make?

The impression you give off is one of desperation, not of hipness, trendiness, coolness.

So here’s my list of what not to wear if you are an actual woman:

No leggings with a dress over them. Ditto jeans with a dress over them. That look is for teenagers.

Give up the long hippie chick dresses, the long hippie peasant skirts with ten tons of bracelets, a jean jacket, and the hair down to the waist. It only makes you look older. It is time to evolve. Wear the jean-jacket, but with a great pair of pants and a sophisticated looking cami. And please, cut the hair into an actual style. You don’t have to go “helmet-head”, or fussy – if long hair really does look good on you, get it cut to the shoulders with some layers for movement and to bring attention up to your eyes. It’s like a face-lift without the surgery, trust me!

Don’t do the ripped-up jeans thing. Tie dye. Tube tops or those tops cut down to your behind in back. You’ve outgrown that sort of thing. There are certain shoe styles that do not work for you any more. Don’t pretend that you don’t know what they are. You do. They involve 5” heels, extreme platforms, zillions of straps, rounded toe ballet flats with a bow on them, ankle boots worn with a mini dress.

Stay away from the baby-doll look in anything. You are not a child. No jumpers. Do not do the tiny ruffled mini-skirt, dresses or blouses with little puffy sleeves. I don’t care how young you look, or how much surgery you have had. You don’t have to be stuffy or prissy looking – just as I would advise you to buy a suit and then take the pieces apart and never wear them together again (it is just as much of a no-no to look too old and stuffy), I am advising you to go for a level of sophistication that reflects your wisdom and your experience as a woman. A real woman, not the little girls made up to look like women that we are bombarded with in the magazines and catalogs.

The attention you will get from dressing more appropriately is a lot better type of attention than the kind you get by revealing way too much leg and boob, wearing too much makeup, or dressing like a kid. It is the difference between being laughed at and being taken seriously.

Rules and how to break them

There are some rules that can’t be broken: visible panty lines or bra straps showing, for example. And there are “rules” that can. These are what I call “old school” rules. The kind your mother and grandmother may have adhered because “they” said so. While the rules concerning good taste always apply, certain others can be tossed aside. Especially if you have decided to own your style, your way.

Rule #1: Never wear white before Labor Day.

Who says? Why not? Does white look good on you? Does it work with your total outfit? Is it fall or winter weight? Then forget about “winter “ white. Wear whatever white you like. Some people look dreadful in winter white, or ivory. If it doesn’t look good then don’t wear it! But to suggest that white after Labor Day is somehow incorrect is ridiculous. White with black always looks correct, and white with a great color is a real attention-grabber. (Just try not to look like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.) A jewel-colored cashmere sweater with white pants in winter is classic and lovely. Beige with white looks great in the fall when you pair it with smoky quartz or amber accessories or pop it with turquoise. So wear white after Labor Day. (By the way, what did this “rule” have to do with anyone who lived in the southwest or the Deep South?)

Rule #2: Always cut your hair short once you are past 40.

In my case, yes. I look awful with long hair. This has nothing to do with an arbitrary number and everything to do with one’s features. If you have the beginning of jowls, or droopy eyelids, the hair should be cut shorter and layered to bring your attention upwards. In this way the haircut acts like a facelift. If you are lucky enough to still have a nice neck and jaw line, no drooping in the eyelids then wear your hair longer. The one rule I would abide by here is to not go for the curtain of hair with the bangs. It makes you look like a Springer Spaniel. And it is aging. So get the long hair, but with some layering for interest. And of course, style.

Rule #3: Match your shoes with your bag.

Well, yeah, if you want to look like my 94 year old Aunt Ella. Aunt Ella is adorable. But she is 94. Are you 94? If not, mix it up. Black dress, black shoes, pink bag. Beige outfit, brown heels, blue bag. Jeans, red heels, zebra-print bag. You get the idea. Have some fun with this. You’ll get more wear out of your bags and shoes this way and add interest to an outfit that was becoming boring.

Rule #4: Match your lipstick with your blush.

Only if the blush is the right color for you. Blush should look natural. Unless you are posing for a black and white photo-shoot you do not need to contour and certainly contouring should not be done with pink or coral. Wear what flatters you skin-tone and is in the same color family. Having trouble here? Lean over for a minute. When you come back up you will see not only where to apply blush but what color is right for you. And lose the idea that the lipstick and blush have to match unless you are Hell-bent on looking older than your years.

Rule #5: What worked in your prime is your best look always.

No. It is not. What worked in your prime worked then. If you get stuck in a time-warp, wearing what looked good on you in high school or college or whenever you thought you looked your best in the past then you end up actually looking older. (Men, this also applies to you. I wish I had a dollar for every man I see over 50 who is sportin’ the “Modified Beatle” do, or worse yet, a Mullet.) Just remember to be age-appropriate. It’s a fine line and a good hairdresser will let you know if you’re going in the wrong direction. If you don’t believe me on this point then think back to the lady in your neighborhood who still has the Farrah wings or the one you just saw at the mall with the cut-out sides-shaved back-perm on top thing. Did you say “Man!" I wish I looked like that!” I didn’t think so.

Elizabeth Sutor is a Makeup Artist and Wardrobe Consultant. She can be reached at elizabethsutor@hotmail.com or 302.312.9241. Her website is lookinggreatdaily.com.